"When you "ain't" Black enough"

With the sudden passing of Whitney Houston, I was reminded back in the day the talented pop singer was accused of not being "Black enough" and catering to a "White pop" audience. I remember Whitney back in 1985 when she released her first album. While I was only 3 years old, she made quite an impression. I never saw Whitney as not being Black, or not "Black enough", just a talented singer who my mother listened to almost daily. This brings me to my point, more dysfunctional traits in the Black community, once again proving negative stereotypes about Black people being ghetto, and validating racist theories.

Now before I start, what I am about to say is not directed towards ALL Black people. That would contradict this topic altogether, because its Black people accusing other Blacks or mixed race people (with Black ancestry) of not being Black enough. With that being said don't accuse me of something I am not doing...

As a multiracial person I have been bullied over the years for not being what some considered "Black enough". It started in the mid 1980s when my lovely Black neighbors wrote "White Bitches" on the front door to my families apartment and car, due to the fair skin tone of me and my sister. Which brings me to another point which is kinda off topic. I am always hearing complaints about "light skin" women being favored over Black women with darker skin tones. But at the same time I am always hearing "Black people come in all colors". For the record so does every other racial/ethnic group. Ever notice how pale Nicole Kidman is and how dark Kim Kardashian is. Both Caucasian. And before you get started Armenian is not a race, but a nationality and a ethnic group.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armenians
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armenoid_race

Back on topic here. Fast forward to 1998, I'm in the 10th grade, and I am constantly finding ways to "fit in" with Black students in high school, particularly those that I thought were "cool" and from the "hood"(this isn't a stereotype or generalization, these people were from what is considered "the ghetto"). Instead of accepting me I get called "White Bitch" (again), Cocaine face, and pale face ho, by Black students. In 1998 I identified as Black, and Black only. I would become offended if someone said I was mixed or Hispanic or anything other than Black. I often hid my White musical, television and movie tastes and only claimed to have liked Black entertainment. Call me tragic mulatto all you want, or feeling sorry for myself, if it wasn't for the White man one dropping mixed race people, and now Black people doing it as well, there wouldn't be so many mixed race people with identity issues. I know this was my choice and nobody forced me to do this, but what 16 year old doesn't want a social life?

Despite the bullying  in high school by Black people, I chose to attend a historically Black college. Yeah I wanted to fit in desperately, kissed a** like I did in high school, but I was unsuccessful. I wasn't seen as "cool enough" or "black enough". So I figured the answer to this dilemma was to pursue membership in a Black sorority. I thought "Yeah! Then they will accept me then as Black, and I will be cool too!" I worked my a** off, attended every function, kissed everyone's a**, again denied my mixed heritage, etc etc (yeah I know, nobody told me to deny being mixed, well I seriously doubt if I walked around shouting "I'm Multiracial not Black" I would have been accepted, self hate in the eyes of some remember?).

Well my hard work paid off...I got accepted to the sorority. So I thought my social life was going to change, but boy it got worse after I got in. Call me a person with acceptance issues, I will readily admit that I was. First of all time after I joined I was left out of everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, people formed cliques (I wasn't in any of them though), didn't invite me to events and parties, and again I was bullied for "dancing White", (videos were made of me dancing so they could laugh), dressing 90s alternative, having a crush on Johnny Depp, dying my hair different colors, etc. My "sorority sisters" were ashamed of me for not being Black enough and pretty much ousted me. For a while I kissed their a**es, and tried to force myself on them. But I eventually got fed up, lost my temper, told them off and never looked back to make a long story short. Before you draw conclusions, it wasn't everyone in the organization but too many to keep dealing with it. I may had to deal with bullying in high school, I damn sure wasn't going to deal with it as an adult. While there are some good people in the sorority, in this case 1 bad apple (and in my situation there was more than 1, try 50) spoils a bunch.

So here I am, finally accepted me for me (not completely but a far cry from 10-15 years ago), and I am just fine with not being Black enough to some people. I know that I am part Black, not ashamed of it, and wouldn't have it any other way. But for an entire community to pick on people for being what they considered not Black enough is sick, and it needs to stop. Everyone is different and has their own unique personality and style.

I heard one of the reasons that Whitney got with Bobby Brown is because she felt he would give her the "street image" she needed in the Black community. Well we all saw what a trainwreck marriage that was, and now poor Whitney is gone. (No one is saying it was all Bobby Brown's fault, so shut up before you start talking trash). But Black people need to see what type of ridiculous pressure they put on others so we can fit into their standards. I see so many Black and mixed race persons over compensating in order to prove their "Blackness": Obama, Halle Berry, Paula Patton, Mariah Carey, Beyonce, etc etc etc etc. And why? These same Black folks that are saying we are not Black enough, are they paying our bills, feeding our bodies, keeping us alive? Hell no! But this all goes in part of wanting to be liked and accepted by others which goes far beyond the Black community (next blog topic?).

Interesting enough I am always hearing some Black people say; White people will NEVER accept mixed race persons as White, as if that is our goal...to be accepted by the "almighty White", but in the same instance these people accuse us of not being Black enough (hypocrites). For the record, I never wanted acceptance from any other racial/ethnic group, other than Black. So to all you people out there that go on and on accusing folks for not being "Black enough" why don't you start a course: "How to Be Black 101" and tell us what we are supposedly doing wrong. Black folks, stop being the mastermind behind your own downfall. 

Multi-Racial In America: Part 1

Multi-Racial In America: Part 1

When you're not "Mixed" enough

This is why I believe the Mixed race community will never become fully recognized, or at least take several more years; no one can decide who is Mixed and who allegedly isn't. One of the statements frequently voiced by African Americans who opposed the Mixed race movement in regards to persons of Black heritage, is that "All Black people are Mixed". Well that statement in various aspects is true, however if all Black people are mixed, then why do they refer to themselves as Black? However after reading several comments in regards to what people believe is mixed race and what is not, I feel like I don't fit into the community's standards anymore. While I am Mixed race, I am a product of two mixed race parents, of Black, White, Native American and Latino heritage. However it seems the unofficial definition of mixed race is Black and White, and if you don't have a full White parent, preferably a White mother like our current president, well then you're not Mixed, or at least not Mixed enough. If you are a Black Hispanic like actress Tatyana M. Ali then you're not mixed, no one claims her as a Mixed person. However celebs like Mariah Carey, Halle Berry, Alicia Keys, and Barack Obama are. Why? They all have White moms. This is one of the reasons why African Americans who opposed the Mixed race movement accuse us of wanting to be White. We constantly  uplift our "Whiteness" while ignoring Multi-ethnic persons who may not have such prominent "Whiteness" like Sammy Davis Jr. who was a Black Hispanic.

This is how I don't fit into any community. Not being the "tragic Mulatto" here but when talking to White people I feel that I constantly have to defend my Blackness, while they hold back saying the N word, and casually saying bigoted things about Blacks and Hispanics. Talking to Black people I have to defend my White ancestry, along with identifying as mixed race, listening to them say negative things about "light skin Blacks" Biracial persons, and White people, telling me that I am not "Black" enough. Talking to Hispanics well I can't speak Spanish fluently so I am already judged based on that, and the fact that I have Black ancestry, so I am not Latina enough. Lastly with mixed race persons, well I don't have that White mom. My mother was Black (and Native American), and I am proud of her and I miss her today. So maybe I should start my own group "Persons who don't fit in anywhere".

Halle Berry and the "one drop theory"

I have to admit when I heard that Halle Berry proclaim earlier this year that she "believed in the one drop theory" in regards to her Multiracial daughter Nahla, I was beyond angry at the Academy Award winning actress. However certain people did not quite understand my emotion. I initially became part of a facebook page entitled "Boycott Halle Berry for embracing the racist one drop rule", however I eventually left the group because there was really not much to "boycott" per se. However, I was quite surprised at the anger from others, for my supporting this group. Some of the comments towards me were borderline ignorant, accusing me of boycotting Berry because she called her daughter Black. Hello! I NEVER once said I denounced the actress because she called her daughter Black. She has the right to call HER daughter whatever she chooses, however my reasoning for "boycotting" was simply because she supports a racist, Jim Crow law, nothing more. Just like segregation and slavery were racist, so is the one drop rule. But now ODR benefits the Black community, because people like Halle Berry and Barack Obama get counted as the first AA actress to win a Best Actress academy award, (for getting naked with a racist White man in a motion picture I might add), and for being the first Black president. Therefore in situations like this ODR is a great rule racists created! Interesting enough if Halle Berry had lived during Jim Crow, her relationship with her former boyfriend Gabriel Aubry would have resulted in her arrest due to Jim Crow making it illegal for interracial marriages and relationships. Berry is now involved with yet another man outside of her race. Does she support the "theory" interracial marriages and unions should be illegal too? Probably not. Hypocrisy at its finest.

And like good ole Paula Patton, Berry is apologizing because she fathered a child with a White dude. She knew what she was doing when she made that decision, so why is she apologizing for it now? I doubt the Black community is losing sleep because she had a child with a White guy. I'm sure some ignorant people had their comments, Black and White, and I heard she did receive threats. However Berry also recently won a restraining order against a stalker, apparently not related to the whole "my baby daddy is white" issue. So therefore because she received threats allegedly because the father of her child is White, she decides to campaign for the ODR, to appease the persons who supposedly threaten her. However I don't see her staying in the house because of her alleged stalker.  My point is people like Paula Patton and Halle Berry do an excellent job putting their foot in their mouth. Not only are they trying to diminish the Multiracial community, but we have other Mixed race people that still support them claiming them as Biracial persons. While they may be Biracial genetically, this is not how they choose to identify, therefore we shouldn't claim them as our own.

Negative Posts

Well some people have quietly criticized me due to the fact that I am not always positive in my postings. Well I feel there are a lot of issues in the Multiracial community that need to be addressed, and many do not want to discuss certain issues, sweeping them under the rug. While I wish I could be 100% positive in my postings, I believe in talking about real issues.

Paula Patton Finds Term Biracial Offensive

This is old news, but I felt compelled to write about it. First of all I really dislike how many Multiracial and Biracial groups claim Paula Patton as mixed race. She doesn't identify as such, so why should we embrace her, when she doesn't reciprocate?

Anyways a while back actress Paula Patton revealed that she thinks that the term "biracial" is offensive and goes on to ignorantly say "It's a way for people to separate themselves from African-Americans a way of saying I'm better than that. She also says  "I'm black because that's the way the world sees me. People aren't calling Barack Obama biracial. Most people think there's a black president. People judged me because I was light-skinned. They'd [assume] I didn't want to be part of the black race." she says.

Hmmm let's analyze this.... So Paula knows everyone who identifies as Biracial and knows for a fact we are trying to separate ourselves from African Americans? Furthermore if we actually wanted to separate ourselves from African Americans we would go the route the young lady on MTV's "True Life" who denies that she is Biracial altogether in favor of identifying as "Costa Rican" (a nationality, not a race by the way). Biracial means two races generally, Multiracial means two or more races, there is nothing in the definition that states "better than being Black". Also Mrs. Patton-Thick fails to acknowledge there are Biracial people that are Asian/White that may identify as Biracial. So is it okay for these individuals to identify as Biracial, while its wrong for a Black/White or Black/Asian etc to say they are Biracial? 

Secondly she goes on to say that she is Black because that is the way the world see's her, not explaining how she see's herself. So if the "world" saw her as Biracial would she magically change her mind and identify as such. If the world saw her as overweight would she begin starving herself? 

Thirdly she says people aren't calling Barack Obama Biracial. What people is she talking about? Has she spoken to everyone and their feelings on how they view the president racially? Barack Obama IDENTIFIES as Black, which is why he is called such.

Lastly she says "People judged me because I was light-skinned. They'd [assume] I didn't want to be part of the black race."? So is this why she feels the need to bash persons who identify as Biracial in an effort to be loyal to the Black race because "people" assumed she didn't want to be Black because of her light skin? Again people. Does this young lady have a mind of her own, or does she base her everyday actions on what others think of her? For years people have told me that I am not Black enough, and have made racist remarks due to my light skin. I'm sure they assumed I didn't want to be Black either, however the difference between me and Paula is I don't care, in addition to the fact that not everyone cares or has a issue with how "Black" you are. If someone feels that I am using the term Multiracial as an attempt to be better than Black, so be it. Its not true, and I really don't have to prove myself to anyone. I am proud of ALL of my heritages including Black. 

While Paula has the right to racially identify how she chooses, it is not her right to criticize persons who identify as Biracial. She doesn't know everyone's story, how they were raised. Just like no one has the right to criticize a person who does not identify as Biracial. If Paula is trying to make up for the fact that she married a White man by proving how "Black" she is that is her business, but don't attack the Biracial community in the process. 

So now I am a separatist/nationalist for supporting Mixed Race identity?

Recently I came under attacked by an individual on Facebook who accused me of being a separatist because I identify as Multiracial and support the efforts of the Multiracial community. I was not certain if the woman was specifically speaking of me in her attack as she did not address me by name, however after reading her comments and views on Mixed Race identity I had a feeling she was indirectly calling me a separatist. 


First of all since I was an educator and still promote education, let's establish what a separatist is.


According to the Merriam Webster dictionary a separatist is an advocate of independence or autonomy for a part of a political unit (as a nation) c : an advocate of racial or cultural separation. To sum it up this woman pretty much compared my views of Multiracial identity to racist organizations that promote violence and segregation. 


To defend my position I sent a message to the woman, asking first was she referring to me in her comments, and then defending my position. Here is what I wrote:

Hello. I am not certain if you were referring to me on the recent thread in regards to the topic: "White? Black? Hispanic? Why Not All of the Above?", when you mentioned there was another person on the page that is a "separatist". If so I would appreciate if you direct your comments to me personally, because I am not sure if you were speaking of me or not, nor did I have the chance to address those comments and defend my position. First of all I am not a separatist, nor a nationalist. Just because someone embraces their full heritage and feels that he or she belongs to more than one racial group does not mean they are trying to disassociate themselves from the Black community. I grew up in a predominately Black home. I attended mostly Black churches, I graduated from a Historically Black college, and I am a member of a Black sorority. So I don't see how I am separating myself from the Black community, because I racially identify as Multiracial. You know nothing about me, but accused me of possessing a characteristic that is not who I am at all, simply because you seem uneducated on Mixed Race identity.

Personally I have NEVER been Black, or White or Multiracial or Latina when it suits me. I am Multiracial 24/7. I do not support a Multiracial person identifying as only Black to obtain financial aid benefits or affirmative action benefits. I see a lack of ethnics in a situation like that. And I have encountered racism from all groups, Whites, Blacks, and Latinos, but those experiences have shaped me to become the person I am today, and I realized that just because I came across a few bad apples, doesn't mean it’s going to discourage me from embracing who I am. I have been told to "go back to Africa" by Whites in elementary school, to having "White Bitches" sprayed painted on my mother's car and front door when I was only 3 years old by African Americans. Despite this I still identify as Multiracial.

My goal is to educate our society on Mixed Race identity and the history of the Multiracial community. I am not about separating, but building bridges to tear down the walls of racial oppression. If you do not believe me that is your choice, but the reason I sent this message to you was to clear up any misconceptions you had about me, and my initiatives. Thank you for your time. 

So the woman writes back and this is what she had to say:


So, let me start off by saying that I don't know if it was you in particular as I don't have immediate access to the words I saw in particular not the post I saw responded to by you or someone else, as it was not on my FB page but someone else's.

Secondly, I still don't know you any more then I did when I read the words that bothered me (if they came from you) as you choosing to admonish me as a "Week", and not as an individual person. That is absolutely your choice. However, you must also understand that you don't know me, what I have dealt with in my life, what my heritage is, or who I have associated with in my lifetime. I responded to something that was posted on a FB friends page as I saw it, and I suppose that is what you are choosing to here and now. I don't know, since again, you are not responding to me as a person but as a "Week".
If you want to step to me correctly, then please feel free. At the moment I have no way of defending my words since you didn't feel the need to acutally quote me verbatim, and (oh, yes I will say this again) you have not felt the need to actually address me person to person. Therefore, I am going to simply end this discussion and say, enjoy yourself...I mean your "Week"! LOL!

Well my comments in which she attacked me came from my Facebook page. Is there a reason why I should log into my personal account to address her? I did provide her with my name, so that wasn't enough? She never once addressed a word in the letter I sent to her initially. 

Is this what some people feel about Multiracial identity is that we are separatists, and self haters? 

Again my goal is to educate, but not to beg anyone to accept me as Multiracial. You can drag a horse to water, but you can't make him/her drink. My advice is instead of attacking persons who identify as Multiracial, learn about the community and why people choose to embrace their full ancestry. Until then one cannot fairly challenge Mixed Race Identity.