With the sudden passing of Whitney Houston, I was reminded back in the day the talented pop singer was accused of not being "Black enough" and catering to a "White pop" audience. I remember Whitney back in 1985 when she released her first album. While I was only 3 years old, she made quite an impression. I never saw Whitney as not being Black, or not "Black enough", just a talented singer who my mother listened to almost daily. This brings me to my point, more dysfunctional traits in the Black community, once again proving negative stereotypes about Black people being ghetto, and validating racist theories.
Now before I start, what I am about to say is not directed towards ALL Black people. That would contradict this topic altogether, because its Black people accusing other Blacks or mixed race people (with Black ancestry) of not being Black enough. With that being said don't accuse me of something I am not doing...
As a multiracial person I have been bullied over the years for not being what some considered "Black enough". It started in the mid 1980s when my lovely Black neighbors wrote "White Bitches" on the front door to my families apartment and car, due to the fair skin tone of me and my sister. Which brings me to another point which is kinda off topic. I am always hearing complaints about "light skin" women being favored over Black women with darker skin tones. But at the same time I am always hearing "Black people come in all colors". For the record so does every other racial/ethnic group. Ever notice how pale Nicole Kidman is and how dark Kim Kardashian is. Both Caucasian. And before you get started Armenian is not a race, but a nationality and a ethnic group.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armenians
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armenoid_race
Back on topic here. Fast forward to 1998, I'm in the 10th grade, and I am constantly finding ways to "fit in" with Black students in high school, particularly those that I thought were "cool" and from the "hood"(this isn't a stereotype or generalization, these people were from what is considered "the ghetto"). Instead of accepting me I get called "White Bitch" (again), Cocaine face, and pale face ho, by Black students. In 1998 I identified as Black, and Black only. I would become offended if someone said I was mixed or Hispanic or anything other than Black. I often hid my White musical, television and movie tastes and only claimed to have liked Black entertainment. Call me tragic mulatto all you want, or feeling sorry for myself, if it wasn't for the White man one dropping mixed race people, and now Black people doing it as well, there wouldn't be so many mixed race people with identity issues. I know this was my choice and nobody forced me to do this, but what 16 year old doesn't want a social life?
Despite the bullying in high school by Black people, I chose to attend a historically Black college. Yeah I wanted to fit in desperately, kissed a** like I did in high school, but I was unsuccessful. I wasn't seen as "cool enough" or "black enough". So I figured the answer to this dilemma was to pursue membership in a Black sorority. I thought "Yeah! Then they will accept me then as Black, and I will be cool too!" I worked my a** off, attended every function, kissed everyone's a**, again denied my mixed heritage, etc etc (yeah I know, nobody told me to deny being mixed, well I seriously doubt if I walked around shouting "I'm Multiracial not Black" I would have been accepted, self hate in the eyes of some remember?).
Well my hard work paid off...I got accepted to the sorority. So I thought my social life was going to change, but boy it got worse after I got in. Call me a person with acceptance issues, I will readily admit that I was. First of all time after I joined I was left out of everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, people formed cliques (I wasn't in any of them though), didn't invite me to events and parties, and again I was bullied for "dancing White", (videos were made of me dancing so they could laugh), dressing 90s alternative, having a crush on Johnny Depp, dying my hair different colors, etc. My "sorority sisters" were ashamed of me for not being Black enough and pretty much ousted me. For a while I kissed their a**es, and tried to force myself on them. But I eventually got fed up, lost my temper, told them off and never looked back to make a long story short. Before you draw conclusions, it wasn't everyone in the organization but too many to keep dealing with it. I may had to deal with bullying in high school, I damn sure wasn't going to deal with it as an adult. While there are some good people in the sorority, in this case 1 bad apple (and in my situation there was more than 1, try 50) spoils a bunch.
So here I am, finally accepted me for me (not completely but a far cry from 10-15 years ago), and I am just fine with not being Black enough to some people. I know that I am part Black, not ashamed of it, and wouldn't have it any other way. But for an entire community to pick on people for being what they considered not Black enough is sick, and it needs to stop. Everyone is different and has their own unique personality and style.
I heard one of the reasons that Whitney got with Bobby Brown is because she felt he would give her the "street image" she needed in the Black community. Well we all saw what a trainwreck marriage that was, and now poor Whitney is gone. (No one is saying it was all Bobby Brown's fault, so shut up before you start talking trash). But Black people need to see what type of ridiculous pressure they put on others so we can fit into their standards. I see so many Black and mixed race persons over compensating in order to prove their "Blackness": Obama, Halle Berry, Paula Patton, Mariah Carey, Beyonce, etc etc etc etc. And why? These same Black folks that are saying we are not Black enough, are they paying our bills, feeding our bodies, keeping us alive? Hell no! But this all goes in part of wanting to be liked and accepted by others which goes far beyond the Black community (next blog topic?).
Interesting enough I am always hearing some Black people say; White people will NEVER accept mixed race persons as White, as if that is our goal...to be accepted by the "almighty White", but in the same instance these people accuse us of not being Black enough (hypocrites). For the record, I never wanted acceptance from any other racial/ethnic group, other than Black. So to all you people out there that go on and on accusing folks for not being "Black enough" why don't you start a course: "How to Be Black 101" and tell us what we are supposedly doing wrong. Black folks, stop being the mastermind behind your own downfall.
Now before I start, what I am about to say is not directed towards ALL Black people. That would contradict this topic altogether, because its Black people accusing other Blacks or mixed race people (with Black ancestry) of not being Black enough. With that being said don't accuse me of something I am not doing...
As a multiracial person I have been bullied over the years for not being what some considered "Black enough". It started in the mid 1980s when my lovely Black neighbors wrote "White Bitches" on the front door to my families apartment and car, due to the fair skin tone of me and my sister. Which brings me to another point which is kinda off topic. I am always hearing complaints about "light skin" women being favored over Black women with darker skin tones. But at the same time I am always hearing "Black people come in all colors". For the record so does every other racial/ethnic group. Ever notice how pale Nicole Kidman is and how dark Kim Kardashian is. Both Caucasian. And before you get started Armenian is not a race, but a nationality and a ethnic group.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armenians
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armenoid_race
Back on topic here. Fast forward to 1998, I'm in the 10th grade, and I am constantly finding ways to "fit in" with Black students in high school, particularly those that I thought were "cool" and from the "hood"(this isn't a stereotype or generalization, these people were from what is considered "the ghetto"). Instead of accepting me I get called "White Bitch" (again), Cocaine face, and pale face ho, by Black students. In 1998 I identified as Black, and Black only. I would become offended if someone said I was mixed or Hispanic or anything other than Black. I often hid my White musical, television and movie tastes and only claimed to have liked Black entertainment. Call me tragic mulatto all you want, or feeling sorry for myself, if it wasn't for the White man one dropping mixed race people, and now Black people doing it as well, there wouldn't be so many mixed race people with identity issues. I know this was my choice and nobody forced me to do this, but what 16 year old doesn't want a social life?
Despite the bullying in high school by Black people, I chose to attend a historically Black college. Yeah I wanted to fit in desperately, kissed a** like I did in high school, but I was unsuccessful. I wasn't seen as "cool enough" or "black enough". So I figured the answer to this dilemma was to pursue membership in a Black sorority. I thought "Yeah! Then they will accept me then as Black, and I will be cool too!" I worked my a** off, attended every function, kissed everyone's a**, again denied my mixed heritage, etc etc (yeah I know, nobody told me to deny being mixed, well I seriously doubt if I walked around shouting "I'm Multiracial not Black" I would have been accepted, self hate in the eyes of some remember?).
Well my hard work paid off...I got accepted to the sorority. So I thought my social life was going to change, but boy it got worse after I got in. Call me a person with acceptance issues, I will readily admit that I was. First of all time after I joined I was left out of everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, people formed cliques (I wasn't in any of them though), didn't invite me to events and parties, and again I was bullied for "dancing White", (videos were made of me dancing so they could laugh), dressing 90s alternative, having a crush on Johnny Depp, dying my hair different colors, etc. My "sorority sisters" were ashamed of me for not being Black enough and pretty much ousted me. For a while I kissed their a**es, and tried to force myself on them. But I eventually got fed up, lost my temper, told them off and never looked back to make a long story short. Before you draw conclusions, it wasn't everyone in the organization but too many to keep dealing with it. I may had to deal with bullying in high school, I damn sure wasn't going to deal with it as an adult. While there are some good people in the sorority, in this case 1 bad apple (and in my situation there was more than 1, try 50) spoils a bunch.
So here I am, finally accepted me for me (not completely but a far cry from 10-15 years ago), and I am just fine with not being Black enough to some people. I know that I am part Black, not ashamed of it, and wouldn't have it any other way. But for an entire community to pick on people for being what they considered not Black enough is sick, and it needs to stop. Everyone is different and has their own unique personality and style.
I heard one of the reasons that Whitney got with Bobby Brown is because she felt he would give her the "street image" she needed in the Black community. Well we all saw what a trainwreck marriage that was, and now poor Whitney is gone. (No one is saying it was all Bobby Brown's fault, so shut up before you start talking trash). But Black people need to see what type of ridiculous pressure they put on others so we can fit into their standards. I see so many Black and mixed race persons over compensating in order to prove their "Blackness": Obama, Halle Berry, Paula Patton, Mariah Carey, Beyonce, etc etc etc etc. And why? These same Black folks that are saying we are not Black enough, are they paying our bills, feeding our bodies, keeping us alive? Hell no! But this all goes in part of wanting to be liked and accepted by others which goes far beyond the Black community (next blog topic?).
Interesting enough I am always hearing some Black people say; White people will NEVER accept mixed race persons as White, as if that is our goal...to be accepted by the "almighty White", but in the same instance these people accuse us of not being Black enough (hypocrites). For the record, I never wanted acceptance from any other racial/ethnic group, other than Black. So to all you people out there that go on and on accusing folks for not being "Black enough" why don't you start a course: "How to Be Black 101" and tell us what we are supposedly doing wrong. Black folks, stop being the mastermind behind your own downfall.
hmmmmm very interesting to say the least. I really don't get this i'm bullied because i'm mixed thing. It just makes no sense to me. As a Black man with a Latin background so to speak...i'm just a Black man. I don't nor have i ever got off into this mix thing. It makes mo difference if you are mixed or not. Call yourself whatever you will. But i guess for me growing up with family members that are Black/white..Black/Latino.... it was never an issue. I could careless how fair skin someone is. Nor do my family put up with that. Yes we call ourselves Black and proud. My family members didn't go threw the teasing to the point that they didn't get along with people. So for me this is foreign to me. When i read stories like this is just SMH... only because i don't get it.... Maybe it is because i look totally Black... don't know. But i also grew up with a family that taught us to not look to other people for validation. Self esteem was very high in my family and still is. Some of the people you mentioned say they are Black because that is what they are. And i don't think they are over compensating... it is what it is. But i did enjoy your views on this.. Keep it coming because maybe there is something i'm missing. Moreno
ReplyDeleteThanks Moreno. As understood everyone's experiences are different. However, I don't think many understand the overcompensating aspect, as its not widely discussed. People who do this are not just mixed race, but Black like Whitney Houston. I wanted to showcase a person who was not mixed race (although i did read she had Native American and Dutch ancestry), that has encountered this type of scrutiny. No everyone hasn't experienced this type of treatment, but many of us have, and are either too afraid to talk about it, or don't realize it. :)
ReplyDeleteThis is superb, and I must say I greatly admire your decision to expose your own private past experiences for everyone to read about. That took a lot of boldness and courage.
ReplyDeleteI too am mixed race, and have received that same criticism at times about not being black enough, as if anyone even knows what that means. Having reached my 40s, I don't have time to try to find out. That's not what life is about.
Thank you so much for speaking about this issue publicly. It is about time someone did.
Perhaps you can clarify something for me, I hear a lot of people who are of a Black-mixed background state that Black people tell them they are not "Black enough." My first question is, why do people automatically equate this with being Black-mixed? I ask this because this happens to lots of Black people who are not mixed, particularly in youth but even into adulthood. You can go to any city in America and you'll find young Black, with two Black parents, who are deemed "not Black enough." This is not a rare thing at all, even in fiction we see examples of this (Carlton on Fresh Prince for example) so I'm a bit confused as to why mixed people automatically equate it with being mixed when it happens quite regularly to Black people who are not mixed.
ReplyDeleteMy second question is, for people who specifically identify as multi-racial or biracial and do not feel the term Black is correct for them, why is it offensive for Black people to say you are not "Black enough?" Please clarify if I'm misunderstanding but if someone feels they are "HALF-black" not Black or they feel they are "mixed not Black" then aren't you stating that you are not as Black as the others? You're making the distinction that you are half Black as opposed to those who are "fully Black" so if people say or imply that you are "less Black" aren't they essentially agreeing with you? Or to put it another way, if you feel that you are multi-racial, not Black, then why are you also angry when you feel Black people tell you that you are not Black/Black enough?
I look forward to reading your thoughts on this.
Hello. My blog wasn't necessarily based solely on being Multiracial and "not Black enough". Its for anyone who is Black or has Black ancestry and has been accused of such, as I have know non Multiracial Black people who have. Remember Whitney Houston was the first example I referenced to in the article. So my focus was on Black people and mixed race persons as well. One of things I say when people have accused me directly or indirectly of not being Black enough is the fact that I am Multiracial. However what I really want to know, what constitutes as being "Black enough"? Because if some individuals display certain characteristics that are stereotypical Black then they are accused of being "ghetto". In this situation a person can't win. People regardless of race have different interests, tastes and personalities. Some may be based on race/ethnicity others may not. Why I am angry when Black people say I am not Black enough is because of the contradiction that comes with it. If I say I am Multiracial then these same folks say "oh girl you Black, that's how the WORLD sees you". But then at the same time if I say I am crushing on Brad Pitt then I am not Black enough. My response...make up your damn mind.
Delete